Last night (Friday, October 2, 2009) Brighthouse Cable experienced a "disruption of services" in the Central Florida area. Their spokesperson issued the following statement:
"We experienced a disruption of video services that impacted some, but not all, of our channels on the network," spokeswoman Sara Brady said. "This disruption lasted about an hour. At this time, the cause is not known. Services have been restored."
I'd like to offer a translation of that corporate-speak(in bold):
"We experienced a disruption of video services...":
"Yeah, we know your cable went out - so what?"
"...that impacted some, but not all, of our channels on the network..."
"... oh, so you couldn't watch 'Are you smarter than a 5th Grader" reruns? WAAAAAAAAHHH" (FYI, You're NOT!)
"This disruption lasted about an hour."
"You know, the same amount of time you should have been exercising, anyway!
"...At this time, the cause is not known."
"...that's right, 'not known!' But we really couldn't care less about what caused the problem, anyway. Maybe it wasn't a technical problem and maybe we were just playing with all of you. You see, you're what we call a "captive audience" Be thankful we were able to get it back on. Oh, and though our service is getting worse and our prices keep going up, don't forget to pay your bill."
"...Services have been restored."
"Hey couch potatoes - have a nice day!"
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